August 19, 2025:
For many years, our favorite family vacation spot has been in Ocean City, New Jersey. It was a place where we found comfort and happiness in our summer routines, spending days sun tanning on the beach and nights enjoying ice cream or miniature golf on the boardwalk.
After Daria’s death, the girls and I continued visiting Ocean City, albeit on new terms. In 2023 and 2024, we took a break and headed to Saint Pete’s Beach, Florida. This year, we decided to return to our family’s happy place with a fresh outlook.
Instead of staying in the same familiar neighborhood, we found somewhere different, just a mile south on the bay side. New neighborhood, new restaurants, new vibe. We settled in quickly to our new surroundings and knew that we would enjoy our stay.
A few days into our vacation, we drove through the old neighborhood and stopped into the local five and dime store that we would visit years ago. As soon as we walked into the store, I felt my heart sink. It was a store that was very familiar to me. It was the store that we would take the kids to for their Ocean City hoodies and other beach swag.
As the girls broke off to check out the latest sweatshirts, hats, and other summer items, I wandered around the store, looking up the aisles and remembering vacations past. I found myself in a section of the store that was stacked with puzzles…many of the same puzzles that we purchased to keep the kids occupied while we were stuck inside due to a passing storm. Beyond the puzzle aisle was the beach cart section. Memories came flooding back of Daria and I test driving the carts up and down the narrow aisles as if we were shopping for a new car. A few of the store’s fluorescent bulbs were burned out, which created an eerie vibe. I felt stuck and I felt alone. It didn’t help that the music that the store was playing was so damn depressing. Acoustic songs about rotgut whiskey won’t do you any favors when you are on an emotional roller coaster.
Thankfully, the store was getting ready to close for the night. I found the girls and told them to get what they needed so that we could get outta there. As soon as I walked out of the store, I felt the calmness come back to my body and mind. On the way home, we grabbed ice cream and went about the rest of the week enjoying our new surroundings and friendly neighbors.
For every not-so-good moment, there will be another that enlightens you. My moment came when the girls and I saw the sunrise on the beach. It was a majestic, soul-cleansing spectacle. I shared pictures with a friend who responded, “It amazes me how that happens! Makes you realize how lucky you are to have seen it!”
Indeed.
Whether it’s vacation, a trip to the local coffee shop, or yardwork at home, unexpected moments of grief and sadness will show up. You can’t prepare for it. Instead, keep moving forward and appreciate the moments in front of you. If the moments turn out not so great, acknowledge them. If they are positive, absorb that energy.
Will I ever go back to that five and dime store again? Who knows. If the timing and circumstances are right, then sure…why not? But I might bring my air pods and an upbeat playlist, just in case.
July 6, 2025:
When the Fourth of July lands on a long weekend, as it has this year, for many it means vacation getaways, grill-outs with family and friends, pool parties and picnics, often finished off with sparklers, bottle rockets, or a full-on fireworks display. At one time, this was a major holiday for my family, and we often had full-on celebrations with our closest friends.
Nowadays, dynamics with my family are different. Full day celebrations have been reconfigured to cross-checking each other’s schedules and trying to align time with friends and their schedules. Life happens, and you learn to adjust.
This year, even more significant family transitions have come into play. Ava spent the holiday weekend down the shore with her boyfriend and his family. Julianna, who just turned 21, has been exploring her freedom of being an adult with hangouts and get togethers with her friends. My day of Independence was, for the most part, quiet and relaxing…with a few unexpected duds thrown into the mix.
My gas grill ran out of propane midway through making dinner. The canvas grill cover tore on the grill handle and ripped in half as I was shutting down the useless grill for the night. I attempted to invite my neighbors over to hang out for cocktails later in the evening on the deck, but the noise of firecrackers and other low-level explosives throughout the neighborhood caused my dog, Theo, to have some panic attacks. Cocktails and laughter on the deck were traded in for me curling up on the sofa with Theo, catching up on Netflix.
As I sat on the sofa, dwelling over losing my own day’s independence while the neighborhood skyrockets continued to explode throughout the night, it made me wonder…has my Independence Day sparkler fizzled out? As a society that focuses so much on what everyone else is up to through social media, it’s easy for us to get locked in on and believing that we also must be part of the festivities. I’ve gotten caught up many times in this weird web. I’ve put a lot of personal work and dedication into learning how to deal with such moments, and this go-around was another reminder that life will continue to transition and throw unexpected changes my way. It’s something that we all must deal with at various times.
Once I was finally able to accept the day’s various curve balls, I decided to not follow that path for the remainder of the holiday weekend. I started July 5 on my own terms with a nice visit to my new favorite farmer’s market. Sipping on a locally brewed coffee while shopping amongst the local vendors has become my new way of enjoying my weekend. It was this freedom that I needed to help reignite my appreciation for the holiday weekend that almost wasn’t.
And while I didn’t get together this year on Independence Day with my closest friends as we have for so many years previously, we instead met up for dinner on Saturday night at our new favorite local restaurant, followed up with drinks and lots of great conversation and laughter for many hours afterwards on their deck.
Life’s lesson this go-around: don’t let the unexpected shut you down. Be with those moments, acknowledge it and accept it. Then start the next day off with a bang.
Let freedom reign!
MEET MY FAMILY
